LUNA

I've always had an aversion to amusement parks - a mecca for assorted trash in every sense of the word. Amusement parks with "Fun Houses" and other sadistic attractions designed by

Nazi war criminals.

I have a clown phobia and PTSD stemming from them popping balloons in my baby face. Or was that the child molester who blew up a condom for kicks? Either way, places like Coney Island, Playland, Seaside Heights and Knoebels leave a bad taste in my mouth,too.

No one was more surprised than I to find myself lured to Coney Island's new Luna Park - like a luna moth to a flame, so to speak. And I was thrilled by what I witnessed. An colorful ride called THE AIR RACE After making sure all the riders were securely locked in, the attendants ran away from the amusement as fast as they could and I couldn't imagine why - It started off innocently enough. And then it transformed into a ride guaranteed to cause a lifetime of chiropractic visits.

By the time The Air Race finished, black people had turned white, white people were green, and half of them had lost thier shoes & wallets. If I were still bulimic, I'd organize a field trip to Luna Park where we'd first partake of NATHANS and WILLIAM'S CANDY before taking a whirl ON THE ELECTRO SPIN

JUSTICE IS BLIND AND SO ARE MOST SHEIKHS

There's so much commotion over where the incarcerated terrorists will be tried - Quantanamo Bay or Foley Square? Military Tribunal or The Court of Public Opinion?Jury or Bench Trial - decisions, decisions, incisions.

WELL, ERIC HOLDER, HAVE I GOT A GIRL FOR YOU~

If I had my way, Judge Judy would preside over every al Qaeda operative brought to trial.

Can you imagine a shrill Jewish woman lambasting Khalid Sheikh Mohammed ?Or Abdu Mutallab, The Underwear Bomber? The load in his pants on Christmas day would be nothing in comparison with what he'd drop in his drawers when facing Judith Scheindlin. These

courtroom proceedings should be transmitted all over the world by Al Jazeera. Believe me,the thought of a date with Judge Judy would deter future terrorists from ever strapping on a sucide bomb or mixing a bad batch of fertilizer.

REPRESSION/OPPRESSION

Nowhere are the signs of female oppression more obvious than during the summertime, when the living ain't easy. In my neighborhood of Brighton Beach, people appear in all manner of clothing. Orthodox Jewish women doubly helmeted in a sheitel/turban combo (and wearing the layered cake look.)Their Muslim sisters appear in everything from full out burquas to niqabs to simple schmattes loosely tied around their heads. I've seen these swaddled women sweltering on the beach, their huddled masses yearning to breathe free. But I also take notice of other women in their bikinis and perfectly hairless bodies, thanks to waxing and the waning of pubic hair. The only mammalian vestiges are the cups runneth over with silicone and saline solutions. Now I ask you, who's more oppressed - the buqua clad mothers frolicking with their kids in the water or the overexposed bathing belle with her ex-boyfriend's name tramp stamped above her derriere?

SQUEEZABLES

As I often tell my sucidal friends, "there's always something to look forward to..."

For me, it's a Horn Worm invasion in Ira's tomato crop. A perfect couple, he wants to destroy them and I want to save them - who could kill something that looks like the Hookah Smoking Caterpillar?

So, once again, I am raising hornworms. Very interesting, these larval Sphinx Moths.They bury themselves to pupate - remember in the movie, "Silence of the Lambs" when the entomologist extracts a foreign object from a cadaver's trachea - that was the chrysalis of a hornworm. A Baby Sphinx Moth. Of course, in the movie it was the "Death's Head Sphinx."! WHAT A BEAUTY!

so you think YOU can dance? - WATCH THIS

UH OH

I just realized something - my inaugural posts contain pix of Ron Jeremy and Queequeg from Moby Dick - I wonder what Freud would say.

MY MENTOR

I'm at the age where I now get "hand me ups" - from my brilliant and stylish daughter, Carlen.

After a lifetime of encouraging her (I hope) she has reversed the role. Thanks to her, I have

a new wardrobe and this brand new blog.

HERE SHE IS WITH MY FUTURE SON IN LAW - THANK GOD, A NICE JEWISH BOY

My Favorite Character, Queequeg

After all these year, my girlish heart still skips a beat -except now

it's called arrythmia.

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